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Most people try to change behavior, which tends to come back if the underlying causes are not addressed. Instead, create a change at the personality level – who you see yourself as – and your behavior will automatically correct itself. Changing your level of identity means that you now think of yourself differently. Your self-image has changed. This is a much more permanent, enduring change.
Changes at the level of behavior require the use of willpower, while changes at the level of personality occur naturally. If you see yourself as a healthy, athletic person, you will feel embarrassed to sit at home on the couch and watch TV, instead you will feel like going to the gym.
When you decide what you want, step into this role as if it were real. 1 You are now 30 pounds lighter. You are now a successful entrepreneur. You are now a writer. You are now a public speaker. You are now good in a relationship. Yes, you are pretending a little, but change has to start somewhere, so don’t be discouraged about it. You change yourself from the inside out. At first, don’t look for external circumstances that might support your self-esteem. Change the way you think about yourself and then be patient. It will take time for external circumstances to catch up. 2
If you want to make big, lasting changes in your life, start thinking about this change at a deeper level, at the level of your self-image. For example, if you want to lose 30 pounds, stop thinking about dieting and start thinking about what beliefs you must adhere to to stay at your ideal weight. What do you think? Why do you think the way you do and not the way you think now? Of course, going to the gym and eating healthy will still be necessary, but you want to change your motivation first so that going to the gym and diet becomes more natural.
The key question is: How should my self-image be changed so that I automatically get the desired behavior?
Don’t wait for someone or something to give you permission. If you want to be a writer, start writing and anoint yourself as a writer, even if you haven’t published anything yet. You have to start somewhere. The most real things that exist today – the Pyramids, the space shuttle, the Golden Gate Bridge – had to start as an idea in someone’s head. You are creating your future, so there must be a moment when what you want is already real. It’s okay. You need to believe in yourself or you are guaranteed to fail.
Self Help – Self Help online course
More information about Self Help:
Self-help or self-improvement is a self-guided improvementóeconomically, intellectually, or emotionallyóoften with a substantial psychological basis.
Many different self-help group programs exist, each with its own focus, techniques, associated beliefs, proponents and in some cases, leaders.
Concepts and terms originating in self-help culture and Twelve-Step culture, such as recovery, dysfunctional families, and codependency have become firmly integrated in mainstream language.
Self-help often utilizes publicly available information or support groups, on the Internet as well as in person, where people in similar situations join together.
From early examples in self-driven legal practice and home-spun advice, the connotations of the word have spread and often apply particularly to education, business,
psychology and psychotherapy, commonly distributed through the popular genre of self-help books.
According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, potential benefits of self-help groups that professionals may not be able to provide include friendship,
emotional support, experiential knowledge, identity, meaningful roles, and a sense of belonging.
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